An accused murderer’s defense attorney was questioning a pathologist who performed the autopsy. Lawyer: “Doctor, Before performing the autopsy, did you check the victim for a pulse?” Pathologist: “No.” Lawyer: “Did you check the victim’s respiration?” Pathologist: “No.” Lawyer: “Did you check the victim’s blood pressure?” Pathologist: “No.” Lawyer: “So, doctor, you never really established that the victim was dead, did you?” Pathologist: “Well, his brain was in a jar next to the table, but I suppose he could still be out there practicing law.”
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed that the man sitting across from her was staring & smiling at her. She moved to another seat. The same man smiled at her even more, so she moved again. Now the man started chuckling. She moved to another seat. Then the man burst out laughing. After she moved for the 4th time, she complained to the driver & he called the police & they arrested the man for harassment. When the case came up in court, the judge asked the man, "What do you have to say for yourself?" The man replied, "Well, your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, she sat down under a sign that said, "The Doublemint Twins are Coming," so I smiled. Then she moved & sat under a sign that said, "Try Logan's Liniment To Reduce Swelling," & I had to smile. Then she moved again & sat under a sign for a deodorant ad that said, "William's Big Stick Did The Trick," & I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time & sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber Could Have Prevented This Accident,"........I just lost it."