In our family we don't do funerals. We do cremation and a memorial service and those close by might might attend. We only go to weddings for the immediate family. And of course, our immediate family includes the grandchildren. It works out well for us.
Sorry to hear of your loss. It's is difficult to go to family events all the time even in Hawaii it's so small compared to the mainland, yet we too for financial reasons can't go and not having a car makes it hard to go to night events. We just send cards and explain why we couldn't be there in person. It's so hard when you get older too and not as mobile as you liked to be compounds the problem more for us too. At least family understands when you want to go, but can't so it makes it better aside of the loss.
My husband was upset with me when I didn't go with him to his father, mother and grandmother's funerals. He couldn't or wouldn't accept the fact that we couldn't afford for the two of us to attend. They lived in two different states and died a few years apart. I'm sure the family understood that and was glad to see him there. I have only attended one funeral and that was my mother's. For some reasons some thing out of my control made me miss services of other family members but I was always there for support. Another thing is I'm not comfortable with the gatherings held after the services. My family doesn't understand it but I just want to go home. Funerals are emotionally draining.