Not to argue or disagree with your assessment of your moms experience, but rather for general info for anyone reading this thread, if the blood is IN the bowel as seen in a fecal dissection and test, then that is from cancer. Hemorrhoids are located below where the bowel is formed. Blood from hemorrhoids is rarely seen even on the outside of the bowel, but rather when one wipes up. Blood from hemorrhoids is always bright red. Blood IN the bowel from cancer is rarely seen other than a darker bowel than normal. By the time a doctor finds blood in the bowel, then usually the cancer is advanced requiring chemo, radiation, and surgery. THIS IS WHY COLONOSCOPIES ARE SO IMPORTANT! I know this from first hand experience having had colon cancer and also having hemorrhoids.
I'll preface this all by saying, I have a strong distrust in the MD world. Started having this distrust back in the 80's... But my mom who at about 78 or so when hit with a rectal cancer dx. She had no advocates and I don't know what we would have done or said anyway, probably gone along with the docs stuff they do. Back then I had trust in docs.... She had a history of constipation and hemms and didn't know any of the help out there now for us to grasp on to. Her main "go to" was prunes.... And she and dad ate everything...... So with the cancer dx she goes off to local hospital in her area and is assigned this cancer doc...and before we knew it she was taking so many drugs, her bottom was radiated to smitherins and she was in sad shape. The docs made a lot of money from my dad's health insurance and mom got somewhat better if she really had this type of cancer....Her life did go downhill and did die at 91. And had a form of cancer and not being treated for it. What I wonder to this day did the docs take advantage of her fear when she saw blood in the toilet, from hemms as I see it, but she went into horrible fear seeing the blood. And most likely from hemms stuff.
I've had some RED blood in the toilet bowl years ago before working with stoool softeners and changing foods and having to FORCE BM's....My mom didn't have all this knowledge...I don't know what color the blood was but I do question if she really had cancer. I've never had a colonoscopy and I'm 85 and glad I kept my good sense.
There are those that can get a bad doctor, or at least think he/she is bad. Sometimes a doctor can prescribe the wrong medicine and the patient has to tell them the bad effects and the medicine is changed. If a person wants to take care of their own heath/health problems, that's up to them. That works for some, but definitely not for others. When I started having some pain in both shoulders, post rotator cuff surgeries, my VA doctor sent me to PT. The PT wasn't helping at all, so I stopped. Osteoarthritis, of which my left shoulder rotator cuff surgeon told me I had, can't be cured. I got a Cortisone shot in both, but the shot only helped the left side, not the right side at all. So, I have to take my 50mg Tramadol every-other day, along with a Tylenol 8 HR Arthritis, and use CBD salve. For the rest of my life, hope not, but. Bottom Line: I have to trust my VA doctor and Medicare doctor for any health problems that I have or come up with.
Once our body is "cut" it's changed so much of the body totally. I've had 2 "big" cuts and I live with the issues from the cutting. No more cutting....if I can avoid it... Doctors I believe now resent patients knowing something about their issues what "to do".... I made it pretty clear to the people I've seen before the doc house call I start, so the doc knows I've worked with supplements a LONG which and how much I damage I live with from hip job. My friend who fell not long ago ended up breaking her hip and had to have an emergecny hip replacement...I saw her yesterday as she still drives and picked up a few food items for me, she is not healing as she thought and hoped she would...it's over 2 months since surgery so we'll see and she's talking knee replacements...OUCH.....last When my hip was replaced I healed fast but the body went downhill in time....first 5 months post surgery were good, then POW..... PRP is a huge CURE for joint issues BUT our darling insurance world DOES NOT Pay for the work. PRP could put the dinosaur surgeons out of business.....the business of surgeries ie cutting us up.
YES - and you have to expect the first question your second-opinion doctor will ask - which is, "Who is your current doctor?" If you want a real second opinion (instead of a verbal copy of your first opinion) you have to reply, "I don't have a doctor."
I think I've already mentioned this in another thread somewhere, but I had a right hip replacement done in Oct 2005. The PT was rough, but, with the help of my wife, I made it thru it. Today, end of 2023, the hip is still doing nicely. But, then again, that's me. From my medical background, different people can have different reactions to surgeries. Some good-to-very good and other definitely not so much.
But wouldn't you have to go through all the testing/scans again? Not sure insurance would pay for that.
I personally believe that it would be rare to find a doctor who would do that. There are checks and balances in place, which, although imperfect, would keep most doctors from doing unnecessary procedures. In the ages of 80s and 90s, my biggest concern would be that they wouldn't do things that they might do at a younger age.
Looking at it from a doctor's point of view, it must be frustrating to have patients that don't follow direction or whose maladies are largely self-inflicted, yet that patient blames the doctor for their poor outcomes. I can imagine that at some point doctors become aggressive and dictatorial out of necessity, as though they are dealing with children. I wonder what it's like having to grind through the roster of patients day in and day out, trying to set sides of yourself aside from transaction to transaction as you go from patients like those of us here who are engaged (and maybe a little controlling), to those who just want to be told what to do, to those who never follow instructions and blame the doctor. Some of us resist medication while others demand it. I wouldn't want to do it.
A friend recently lost both parents within a year of each other (both in their 90s), and he believes that they were given minimal attention when admitted to the hospital because (a) they were on Medicare, and (b) their age. Yet we have folks who think that physicians are doing unnecessary procedures. Perhaps both positions are valid. I gotta think that these are institutional/insurance policies, not things that treating physicians decide. I've mentioned before that I'll gladly accept whatever diagnostics are offered. Treatments and meds are a different issue...THOSE we gotta have a conversation about.
By the time someone reaches their 80s and 90s, their options are shortened, and that's not entirely unreasonable. Procedures that might be recommended for a younger person might not be recommended for an older person. This is financial to some extent since it might be equated with sinking a bunch of money into an old car that's going to fall apart anyhow. As you say, these decisions are being made by our health insurance providers rather than the doctors, although the doctors often have to give us the news. At the same time, our bodies are the only cars we have, and, like Cubans during the embargo, we'd often like to have them repaired. When dealing with doctors, I find that they sometimes think I'm dumber than I am, and I can tell when they're not really paying attention. I accept there are things they know that I don't know and tests that they have access to that I don't, so I'm not going to disregard what my doctor tells me unless I have a good reason to. I also recognize that I have a greater stake in my health than my doctor does, so they might have to persuade me to do something rather than simply ordering me to. I also recognize that most doctors are too quick to resort to medications, in part because most patients are looking for a quick fix.
I agree that there reaches a "good money after bad" point in geriatric care. That's one of the many moral and ethical issues that modern medical care brings with it...when there were no choices, no such decisions had to be made. Your comment regarding Cubans and cars cracked me up, because people think they're looking at valuable classics when those are really Frankenstein vehicles driving about...and we don't want to do that to ourselves. I think the doctor/patient dynamic and trust are driven by how much the doctor is willing to converse and explain. I've mentioned that I had to go to 3 practices and fire 6 urologists before I happened upon #7, about whom his assistants say "He must have gone through nursing school," because the guy is a real human. We scuffled at first, but now things are fine.
Some medical procedures are simply too harsh for some seniors and may end up doing more harm than good. I had some concerns about chemotherapy at my age, but my oncologist assured me that I had no co-morbidities that would preclude me from the standard of care treatment.