God please help Chrissy for her Mother has recently passed. Guardian Angles please comfort Chrissy in her time of need, thank you in the name of Christ, amen. So sorry to hear about Chrissy's Mother's passing. My Mom just came home from the emergency room too she had an infection. She has a pace maker and has already has a pace maker. When I see the commercial for heart failure meds with the song from Annie I always tear up.
Thanks Krissttina, I'm sorry about how your mom is doing also. We know we will lose our parents but it's not easy.
@Chrissy Page I'm so sorry, I'm just seeing this. I didn't realize you'd lost your mom, although I knew she wasn't doing well. This is always a tough time of year for me, with my Dad's birthday and then Father's Day. I also lost my closest furbaby a year ago, and I'll be glad when July rolls around. I'm sorry you're alone, especially on top of not feeling well. I'm glad you've still got family that you're close to, although not necessarily in proximity. I think those end of life decisions are some of the toughest we're ever called upon to make. I hope you're feeling better physically soon, because that will at least lighten your load. Know that we're all with you in spirit, and understand what you're going through. @Ken Anderson Have you tried to contact extended family and friends/acquaintances of your parents, to see if perhaps they have some pictures with your mom in them? I've always been a picture taker, and have old albums with former co-workers, friends and acquaintances, and I'd be happy to share if someone needed or wanted them. My friend's house burned down years ago, and he lost all of the pictures from when his children were young, what a loss.
Thanks Diane, yes my mom never left the hospital...I mentioned her going in January. June was also a tough time for me before my mom died. My husband also died in June. Seems so far I've lost 2 people I probably cared the most for in June. June 3rd was my 10 year old grandsons birthday and at least my mom didn't die then but in the early hours of June 4th.
Chrissy - I'm new here and we don't know each other yet. I feel for you in your loss and I hope you find the fortitude that you need to get through the coming days, weeks, months and on wards. Take one day at a time and be aware of your emotions so that you can express them. I lost my mother in December 2011, she died alone and suddenly. I had spoken to her the evening before when she seemed fine and was making plans. I had to cope with guilt that she was alone but with time my emotions settled down. "A fresh start" is a great way to look at this. I hope that you're feeling better - and eating properly!
Thanks Julie, sorry about your loss also....although I'd rather go quickly, I think that's harder for the family to deal with...it's a shock. My moms death was expected. Either way it's a loss though. I'm usually a little better by late afternoon and eating a little better, but then I wake up at 2:00 AM and I feel lousy again. I have so much to do and nothing is getting done. I need to get bloodwork done before July 1st and I'm afraid this past 2 weeks might affect it negatively for some things. Yesterday I had a few cookies for dinner and I haven't been taking my Vitamin D which was low last test. Haven't being drinking enough water either...keep forgetting.
@Chrissy Page It sounds as if you're forgetting important things such as eating, taking vitamins,and taking care of yourself in general. It might help if you made a list. That may sound silly to you, but when I'm feeling overwhelmed and as if I'm shutting down emotionally, it helps to make lists of necessary things. I also make lists of accomplishments, even the little ones, because it helps me see some progress. There've been points where I've had to make very large lists/signs really, on posterboards, so I can't forget or ignore things I have to do and things I've accomplished. I also set tasks such as opening the blinds/curtains, sitting outside for 10 minutes each day, and cross them off my list. Losing a loved one, no matter how expected, is still a huge life event. What would you tell a friend to do, if he or she were in your place? I bought a memorial plant when I lost my furbaby last year. I see it every day on my balcony. At first, I couldn't even look at it, but now I can, and it brings me comfort.
Thanks Diane, I do make lists, I've always been a list maker and no matter how miserable I am old habits die hard. Just not following through, I'll be okay eventually I need sleep and nothing knocks me out long enough. I'm a person that needed 7-8 hours, anything less and I'm miserable. Also can't nap, never could.
I understand that, I've always required at least that myself. I actually feel best if I can get 9 hours, but it's been a long time since that happened. Maybe you're unable to properly rest because you're not physically tired, so adding in some physical activity could help. I know I always sleep better on days when I've walked. Sometimes, if the weather's bad, and I have the energy, I will walk up and down the stairs to wear myself out. I can't do that right now, and have noticed that my sleep is suffering. I hope you find something that helps you feel better, and are able to get more sleep soon.
I agree about the need for phyical exercise helping a person to sleep better. On the days when we go to the fitness center and i swim, I sleep so well at night. I usually sleep weell anyway, but when I have either worked in the yard, or swam and worked out at the fitness center, then my body truly feels ready for rest. I am totally sold on the power of swimming. Just being in the water is soothing to me, in itself. When I first started, I was in pretty poor physical shape, and had to rest more than I could swim; but just making the effort made a huge difference. Gradually, my muscle tone and endurance is improving, and I am doing more each time we go. Even a person who can't swim would benefit from just walking in water for a while. I am still not able to go out and walk like I used to do; but in the water, I can get my exercise. But, I totally agree, any form of exercise is beneficial to wearing out the body physically, and then you can usually sleep better. When you are already emotionally exhausted, then physical activity is harder to do; but helpful if you can do it.
Yes, that's the problem Yvonne, I'm worn out emotionally and my body is weaker. It's a vicious cycle, plus I don't want to cause any back pain which will make me reach for more pain meds or advil. I've been watching it because of my stomach. @Diane Lane , I actually need 9 hours too but didn't want to sound like child. . Even though I don't drink any alcohol, if I don't get my 8-9 hrs I feel hungover the next day. Nothing will work until I can let go of the anger and because I've never been this angry in 65 years, I'm having trouble doing it.
I'd rather go quickly too. My mum would have been pleased ... she had actually said ( a few years earlier) "I want to go quickly, in my own home, with my own teeth and will my mental faculties intact"! - She got all of those things. It took me over 2 years before I felt I had an equilibrium again after mum died. Two months after she died I suffered a panic attack - I'd never had one before and haven't had one since. But it was scary and I visited my doctor who put me onto a bereavement counsellor. I had severe guilt feelings about her being alone. Now I have only happy memories of her and my dad who died in 1993 aged only 64.