We all have to die, so at least it might as well be quick and easy. I think suffering not only makes it bad for the person dying but also for those left behind. Those thoughts get mixed in with other ones and nobody wants their loved one suffering.
Our bodies know what they need, and there's no judgment here, so don't worry about that. I have plenty of anger and stress, and if I'm not up to driving to the beach or trails to walk, one thing that helps me is pounding on something. These old fences are always in need of repair, so I keep a bunch of nails on hand and when I need an anger release, I go out and pound some nails into the boards that need to be shored up. I also hammered an old hard drive on the concrete out back before when I was stressed out. Alternatively, another thing that helps me is to sit and absorb the sounds and sights of nature around me, as I sit on the balcony. Sitting downstairs wouldn't be the same, but the balcony is up in the trees, so I can hear the birds, breeze, etc., better, and less of the everyday sounds the neighbors make. Once I've calmed down by listening to nature, I am able to get up and do some stretching, or if my back is particularly bad, I can do chair stretches.
Love and peace surround you, @Chrissy , wherever you are all your days. May you and your family find comfort and shelter in the hollow of God's hands and care. The pain of a loss of a loved one is unbearable. My Dad passed on in 2014 leaving my Mom at 77 years old. I feel helpless to be with my Mom because I and my family are oceans far apart. And I terribly miss my Dad who's been gone which seems like yesterday. I miss my Mom and sisters whom I cannot see and be with, and haven't seen since the funeral. Sigh... May you find some rest in your heart and comfort in your soul, dearest @Chrissy Page .
Thank You Avigail. Sorry for your loss also, yours is still fresh....takes awhile, I know from losing my husband 12 years ago. Like I said, hope this is the last loss I have to endure and I just hope I'm next.
So sorry and am very sad, as well about your mother @Krissttina Isobe I pray that she gets better and stronger, God giving the grace and time. I heard about Vit. C good for infections and all sorts of inflammation in the arteries. Dr. Susan Humphries on Vit C. might inspire you. Take care. And love to you, as well.
Oh, don't say that @Chrissy Page You will be so much missed, and loved ones and friends will be very sad for losing you. Please be strong and be not disheartened. Look after yourself in this time of pain and loss. I don't know how but I wish for peace and much comfort for you in your loneliness. Love and warm hugs!
Thinking of you and wishing a good day for you @Chrissy Page And if you didn't go get your flowers...here's some for you.
Thank you, Babs. I didn't get them yet, so those are perfect and the nice gesture lifts my mood. I am doing much better also. Everything takes time, there's no shortcuts or quick fixes.
You are right there is no shortcuts or quick fixes for the loss of someone you love. Even after 10 years without my Mom here on earth there are times I still miss her earthly presence so much and long to just be able to pick up the phone and call her or see her face to face and get one more of her hugs. I guess that's why I feel your loss too and want you to know I care.
Thanks again, Babs. Yes, I'm dreading next Mother's Day. There will be other events before that...her birthday, etc. I also know that even 10 years and 12 since my husband died that sometimes it's like it just happened or something will trigger a good cry. Time heals...but never completely.
To me, there is a difference between healing, and forgetting something. I still miss my mother, and both she and my dad died a month apart in the spring of 1988, but I am no longer in pain when I think about my mom and dad. For the whole first year, I survived, but I was still in the grief of them passing . Gradually, over the years, the sadness has been replaced by the good memories of the times we had together, and memories from when I was growing up. Knowing that my mom was no longer suffering helped me to make it through the sadness that she was no longer there, and how much I missed both my mom and dad. After I started writing the stories about my parents and my childhood in my little blog that I am making for my kids and grandkids, it helped me to remember more of the good times. I think that, to a great extent, we can call up the memories we want to see again. Sometimes, something triggers a memory, which just comes unbidden, and that can either be a good one or a sad one; but otherwise, we can try to focus on the good ones. Even those are sad at first, because we are grieving, and that is only natural that we would cry over both good memories and bad ones; but later, we can start to enjoy the good memories again. Just be gentle with yourself, Chrissy, and know that you are going through a hard time, and dealing with it the best you can right now.
Thanks againYvonne. Losing two people you loved within a month is hard for me to even think about. Sometimes people lose whole families in a senseless car accident or a house fire or even an airplane crash. I know the pain of one death at a time and it's never easy, I guess we are stronger than we think because most people manage to get through some horrible times. Then there are some people that show no signs of grief even though they loved the person. The ones that say it's been a week, get over it.
I am pretty sure that my dad had been having small strokes before my mom died; but we didn't understand that back then. I remember him saying that some days he had trouble remembering things and couldn't find the newspaper or car keys. Mom had the heart failure, and it had gotten to the point where she was bedridden and we had to help her to the bathroom and back even. She stopped drinking water so she wouldn't have to go to the bathroom, and then her kidneys started shutting down. Finally, we had to get her to the hospital, and she only lived a few more days after that; but at least she was no longer in pain. After that, my dad had a massive stroke, and then I lost him, too. I am an only child, and my husband had walked out on me a few months before that; and when I lost my parents, I thought I was at the bottom of the world for a long time after that. It was just too much grief in too short of a time. There is no set time for getting over grief, each person's circumstances are different, so however long it takes is what is right for each of us.
Oh Yvonne, so heartbreaking to hear the story. Just having your husband walk out is miserable enough without the Deaths of your parents! Did you have any support? Close friend or other relatives?