I did have support of my sons and several good friends. Robin was at her other grandmother's house, finishing high school. I had sent her there for safety because of her father's dangerous drug connections who were threatening to kill us and burn down the house. Both of the boys were married and gone, and I wanted Robin to be somewhere safe. After my ex left, I moved to the old hotel where my parents were and stayed there until they passed away, and then moved from there to Sandpoint where I lived growing up, and I had friends there who helped me deal with everything. I moved into the old house where my folks had lived, which had sat empty for many years. ' Then I got hurt in an accident, and spent the next 6-7 months on crutches; so all in all, it was not a good year for me.
Probably your worst year...how old where you in 1988? I was 37, a stay at home mom. Daughter was 17 and son was 12. Living an easy middle class life. Had no problems then. Nobody had even died yet except my grandfather.
My prayers, and sprinkles of blessings for you Chrissy. Moms are special, and we will always remember all the little and big things they did for us. G-d Bless.
Thank you, @Marilyn Pahl and welcome to the forum! I'm doing much better now but still have days when she pops into my head and the tears flow. Happened just yesterday when I was looking at some photos of her.
When ones, say well you'll get over it. Which is so callus, it doesn't work that way. Mom died in 1981.My youngest son was born the same year. I took care of mom, baby, and husband (died 1984). Every time I do a math problem, or when the kids were little and remembered how she worked it. Different things you and your mom shared and did together will always be in your heart and no one can ever take that away from you ever.... I cry too. "We weren't born perfect, just human." Thank-You for your warm welcome to the forum.
So true. My husband died in 2004 and I've shed a tear this past week over a memory of him also. Thankfully though, with time the pain and tears aren't gut wrenching....just a release of emotions, I always feel better after. Some people never cry, I'm not one of them.
Crying has it's place for sure. I think it is much better than keeping your emotions all bottled up inside. You do generally feel better after you cry. It is just one of the ways to improve how you feel, and it is something thtat comes naturally to a lot of people, so it is something that I have never been afraid to do.
Thanks @Bill Boggs and yes, crying helps me @K E Gordon. Sometimes it's just a few tears, sometimes a waterfall but I always feel better afterwards. I'll be having a good cry again...Oct. 9 is her birthday. It will a tough day for all the siblings....it's the first major occasion without her. I may go to my daughter's around that time so I'm not alone. She always told me I sent the prettiest cards....and I did. I took great pains in finding the most beautiful card I could...sometimes it involved more than one store. I never cared how much her card cost either because I knew how much she loved getting it....and mine was the prettiest.
I can really relate to what you are saying, @Chrissy Page . Even though I had to scrimp for birthday and Mother's Day cards for my mom, it was something that was always a priority for me. Since I am/was and only child, I didn't have the consideration of needing to have the prettiest one of anyone else's card; but i just wanted it to be the prettiest that I could find so that my mom would know how much I loved her. When I was in school, they had those beautiful Valentine's Day hearts with the flowers and ribbon on top, and all kinds of chocolates inside. I would go without lunch , starting after Christmas vacation, and save up my lunch money so I could buy my mom the big valentine heart for Valentine's Day. She always scolded me for not eating my lunches; but she always loved the hearts and saved the beautiful boxes after the chocolates were all gone. They were all still there in her closet, and I found them after she and my dad had died and I was going through everything. I think that the first Mother's Day after she died was the hardest time ever. I remember, I thought I would be fine to go to church; but then they started the festivities, and I started crying and had to leave and go home. I carried starts from some of her flowers that were in their yard along with me for years, and through more moves than I could count. It just made me feel connected to look at an iris and know it was related to the ones my mom grew in her garden. Sometimes now, I dream about her, and I enjoy it when my mother and father show up in my dreams.
Yes, even after I quit sending cards to many people for Christmas and other holidays I always sent my mother a card and even at Christmas she would get her own. She lived with my youngest sister for the last 18 years or so but I always sent her a separate card. While the others got one from a box of cards, my mom would get a special one that I bought individually. It's nice that you had the starts from her flowers, @Yvonne Smith. I can imagine how special those were!
Sorry that you didn't have your mom as long as some of us have, yes we are lucky. Your description of your mother reminds me of mine, Ruby....they seem very similar....the cleaning, the cooking, the lipstick, looking good when she just went to the grocery store. Reading yours and Yvonne's posts has bought tears to my eyes....but it's all good.