Bess thanks what her mother said also and that I did not deserve all that mess, we spent more time together than almost every female I ever knew combined 1 year we wrote all down and for 38 weekends of 52 we went somewhere Fri-Sat-Sun, I never had anyone or knew anyone like that we enjoyed most everything the same as long as it was outdoors, so many days and miles and I still live very close to where most of all of it took place not a week goes by where I don't pass somewhere we were or did something. Her mother summed it up well saying it was a shame to end like that.
Very strict upbringing.....Have RESPECT was the top of the rules......Do what you're told.....When you're told.....How you're told....Praises were always there for initiatives. As an adult now i don't resent the strictness, what i see now are all the lessons i learned from strictness. Highest praise for parents who stuck with it all, and to see the finished products in their children.
Well, for me, there were definitely reasons why I couldn't wait until I graduated from high school and move into Ft. Wayne. IOW, my step-parents (legally called Guardians) were pretty strict with me. How about dropping the "pretty" and simply saying the word "strict". I had to have my bath taken and in bed by 10PM. It's no wonder I loved spending a weekend with my cousins, because they had no bedtime. Their parents were on a bowling league on Saturday night and left both at home. Absolutely no in-between meals snacking. Actually, I had to sneak a couple of sugar cookies out of the cookie bowl on the counter and take to my bedroom upstairs sometimes. Since I wasn't much of a water drinker, my step-parents would put a full glass of water by my supper plate and I had to drink the entire glass before eating. My Saturday nights were made up of having (as supper) either a bowl of popcorn or dish of ice cream and watching Lawrence Welk or going upstairs to my bedroom and doing something. There were some other "strict" things, but I think everyone here gets the idea. My wife had a whole lot more freedom than I did.
No actual spoken rules . Clean your plate. All the please and thank you things.... Be home before dark. Not yours, don't touch. Yet you only got one chance to do right, otherwise it was the belt. I lied in fifth grade about not having any homework all semester...my dad broke a leather belt into on me for that one. Like most parents, they only passed how they were rasied down to us.
OMG @Cody Fousnaugh , what an Idyllic sounding Childhood you had if only you realised it, and how caring your Step-parents sounded about your well-being. Bed by 10pm to ensure you had enough sleep for your studies..not too early and not too late .. ensuring you had enough water to drink... having snacks or ice-cream for supper.. .. and you think you had it bad, I'm very pleased for you that you didn't know what bad actually was.. How about a boot in the face if you didn't eat all your dinner which was horribly cooked in the first place.. .. how about a broken spine for not moving out of the way quickly enough.. how about being half starved , and having to go and steal fruit from people's gardens, how about being left sitting out on the doorstep in minus -5 deg temps all night with no coat because you broke the curfew by 5 minutes... ?, how about most Christmases and birthdays' getting no gifts?..how about being shunted from foster home to foster home because your mother kept trying to commit suicide due to an abusive and violent husband and father , that was a only a small part of my childhood, I could go on and on about daily beatings and starvation.. .. how about like Gloria.. having a leather belt broken over you for telling a lie about homework?... that and much , much more... !! Do you still think not being given a cookie when you wanted one, or having to go to bed at 10pm was strict? ..I'd swap you a million times over for that kind of childhood...
No written or verbal rules just for me. When I needed guidance or punishment my mother would quote a bible verse or IF by Kipling. My dad would usually quote Poe's Raven or other works that required thought. As an only child busy with ranch chores and school and numerous hobbies, I didn't get in much trouble. I lied one time about going to a friends to play guitar and it was really a party. I got in an auto accident and my mom just had some select bible verses and my dad gave me more work on weekends to pay off damage. I never did it again. My mother never raised her voice. Sometimes I wish she had just yelled. Her quiet kind voice and appropriate bible reading was emotionally hard to bear. I guess my folks had a lot of strict rules, but led by example so I just grew up knowing what to do. Table manners, respect for elders, never be late, etc.
@Holly Saunders I have no idea how anyone in their right mind could abuse and neglect their own children. The worst part is that the emotional scars are so much worse than the physical ones. I don't think as @Gloria Mitchell graciously said it was all they knew is an excuse. If someone was abused as a child, it is all the more reason to be a more nurturing parent to your own children because you know what that kind of life feels like. I'm always sad to think of how many kids out there have to endure totally messed up lives.
@Bess Barber I just can't talk about any form of child abuse, I have no tolerance for it. I wish it was possible to sterilize all the parents to be that should not have children. I think I told you why I get so upset hearing about child abuse or abortion. It is such a gift to give birth and raise a child. I can only imagine what it would be like to have a 50 year old daughter.
I don't remember any particular rules. The only thing I remember is that you don't cuss. Ever. I suppose my childhood was carefree compared to some of y'alls. We worked hard when there was work to be done but when work was done, we could play.
Well, I'll put it to you this way, Holly...….I thought my step-parents were strict, until I joined the Navy. The Navy showed me what REAL discipline was like. I was guaranteed an hour of sleep at night and I swear, at sea, there were times that I feel like that's all I got. As far as being in bed by 10PM, that's the time all lights went out. I had to get up around 6AM to do farm chores, before eating breakfast. Yes, you had a rough childhood, but look at you now...…..beautiful and rich.
Okay the whipping was a bit too much...I lied all semester not just once. That was the only way my dad knew how to correct ...because he was treated that way is my guess. He was a very hard person.You were abused beyond words
That was to spite them (or more likely despite or in spite of them) .. well at least my vile father... ... but believe me it took a lot of hard work, to get where I am now it didn't fall into my lap... even as a 12 year old I was up at 4am to deliver milk to 400 doorsteps in the winter snow and ice or torrential rain , before walking 2 miles to school . Anyway.. I know all about the Navy..I was a Navy wife.... my ex husband served on 3 warships while we were married... Incidentally..Rich is relative, I wouldn't go that far.....but I'll take the beautiful...
There was no abuse or even corporal punishment of any kind in my family when I was growing up, and the same was true with my son and nephew, whom I raised. I won't say that there's no place for spanking or other non-injurious forms of punishment, but I didn't experience it as a child and didn't see the need for it. I'm sure it's not true of all parents who use such forms of punishment (or perhaps even most), but a lot of it has more to do with out-of-control parents than out-of-control children. The question to ask is, "Am I about to strike my child because that is the only way that I can get through to him or is it because I am frustrated or angry?" Even then, I'd work harder at finding another way to get the message across. We had rules. They may have been unspoken, but they were there, nevertheless.
No abuse here at all growing up just rules, my main issue was as I have said mother saying I was spending way to much time with my cousin and constantly on me to cut back on it which really hurt me as we were always together it seemed. We never got into any trouble as my uncle watched over us a lot, more than parents ever knew and we could talk to him as a friend, the threat of parents forbidding us to be together was the huge deterrent to do the right things.