I am not at all persuaded that these latest squirrels which have invaded the yard and trees are really the United States of American football loving variety of fuzzy tailed, sunflower seed eating, buck-toothed, rodents. Always the optimist I have tried to be patient with one and all but truly have discovered that there seems to be some sort of language barrier in the diner these days coupled with a show of preference toward ethnic foods. While all of our guests do prefer the larger sunflower seeds, I believe I saw one of two bring a bottle of hot sauce and yet another had a piece of pita bread in his mouth. Upon experimentation we find that 2 out of 5 prefer salsa with their meal and 2 out of 5 like humus, frequently sit on the outdoor carpet and also frequently wash their feet in an almost empty flower pot, but only 1 out of the control group likes their seeds southern fried and was found later sitting on a limb and picking his teeth. With all of the test information at hand, the results leads me to believe that the majority of the squirrels would prefer soccer rather than our conventional American football. Even that said, Alabama squirrels have reconciled themselves to the fact that the U.S. only has two football teams (Alabama and Auburn) from which to pick. Since neither one of them is playing, Sunday is just another Sunday at the local church house or at the diner.