Tom Swifties Are The Wittiest Form Of Written Humor

Discussion in 'Reading & Writing' started by Hal Pollner, Nov 4, 2021.

  1. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    Most of you won't understand them or find them funny, but those with a well-developed wit, like Faye Fox, will find them entertaining.

    Here are a few that I composed:

    "I dropped my tube of toothpaste down the sink drain." said Tom in a crestfallen manner.

    "I've been dealt a 5-card flush!" said Tom wholeheartedly.

    "I've read all of Hemingway's novels." said Tom ernestly.

    "The accident resulted in no damage to my car." said Tom unabashedly.

    "I'm giving up the homosexual life." said Tom with gay abandon.

    "My flower garden is complete except for one variety." said Tom lackadaisically.

    "Milking a cow is not as easy as it looks." uttered Tom.

    "I'm not sure if I'll accept that job offer with the Bureau of Indian Affairs." said Tom with reservation.

    "I love to recite Shakespeare while I polish my car." said Tom, waxing eloquently.

    "I just hooked a giant Sea Bass!" said Tom superficially.

    I have a lot more...

    Harold
     
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  2. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    I recall Tom Swift, but was not aware he was the origin of these.
     
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  3. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    "Thanks for your compliment on my fine-tuned wit," Faye retorts resonantly.

    "That belligerent old bulldog-faced jerk with prostrate issues is a real dripshit," Faye barked facetiously.

    "Hal can't touch that double Swifty," Faye echoed gingerly.
     
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    Last edited: Nov 5, 2021
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  4. John West

    John West Very Well-Known Member
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    My father had all the Tom Swift books but got ride of most so I couldn't read those with all the abandon I did on the few he saved. One was Tom Swift and His Electric Whatever
     
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  5. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    I don't think you're all getting the construction of a "Swiftie".

    It's a statement by Tom followed by an adverb modifying his statement, but in relation to the subject.

    Example: "I just bought a power saw!" said Tom in an offhanded manner."
    (The "offhanded" relates to the accident he had, which severed his hand.)

    or: "I understand France is going to re-evaluate its currency, Said Tom frankly. Get it?

    Try some more, using this formula.
    Hal
     
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  6. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    I do Faye Foxies, not Tom Swifties.
     
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