I had gotten a really bad case of laryngitis and could barely speak in a hoarse voice, so as luck would have it I got called for a job interview. I know I sounded like I was on the verge of death, and of course I was not hired.
Interesting. If I had been in a similar situation, I'd likely have asked why on earth they didn't review my credentials before going to the trouble of setting up an interview. Wasted time for all, IMO.
As the applicant: In the mid 80s I applied for a job with Sperry Secor. After the core interview was over, I went back with the HR Rep to wrap things up. HR staff were in an open cubicle area. So as I'm talking to the guy we overheard a young woman right outside his cubicle talking to another woman about what a dirt bag her boyfriend was and how she's about to dump him. The HR guy I was with stopped speaking to me in mid-sentence, got up, hurried over to her and started chatting her up! I couldn't believe it!!! I waiting for a brief while, then just got up and left. As the interviewer: I had an applicant show up drunk for an 8AM interview. Most of the interview was spent by me consoling the guy because his wife had left him. Some weeks later I caught a glimpse of him hitchhiking as I was on my commute home. In DC traffic there's no way to circle back, or I might have picked him up to see what I could do. His name was Steve. I still remember.
The following is an actual job application that was submitted to a McDonald’s in Florida. The man was reportedly hired on the spot because his application was so hilarious! Name: Jeremy Skitt Sex: Not yet but I’m waiting for the right person. Desired Position: Reclining. Ha ha. but seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. It that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. Education: Yes. Last Position Held: Target for middle-management hostility. Salary: Less than I’m worth. Most Notable Achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. Reason For Leaving: It sucked. Hours Available To Work: Any. Referred Hours: 1:30-3:30pm, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Do You Have Any Special Skills?: Yes but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment. May We Contact Your Current Employer?: If I had one, would I be here? Do You Have Any Physical Conditions That Would Prohibit You From Lifting Up To 50 LBS?: Of what? Do You Have A Car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “do you have a car that runs?” Have You Received Any Special Awards Or Recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. Do You Smoke?: Only when set on fire. What Would You Like To Be Doing In Five Years?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now. Do You Certify That The Above Is True And Complete To The Best Of Your Knowledge?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise. Sign Here: Scorpio with Libra rising.
Good evening to all- Bobby, I'll bet you can appreciate my most recent job interview. It says a lot- I'm not sure what, but it says a lot. I applied for a job teaching high school English at a small school in northwest Florida about four years ago. I really wasn't looking for another teaching job, but I was getting bored, so I applied. I went to my interview, met with the faculty interview team, answered their questions about my background and experience. It was obvious to me that I was getting a positive evaluation from the committee. Then I met with the superintendent. He was polite and asked the right questions. Then he said, " Sir, I'd like to hire you, but with your decades of experience and advanced degrees, what I'd have to pay you for this position, I could hire two new teachers right out of Florida State University for the same money." At least he was honest about it all. I really was glad I didn't get that job- things work out sometimes. good evening to all- Ed
I am all too familiar with that type of interview. In the secular world, I was at one time so frustrated with the reply of “you’re over qualified” and “we can’t pay you what you’re worth” that I started a consulting firm.
Good evening to all- Bobby- From that last interview I learned that I'd never get another public school teaching job. so I concentrated on my magazine writing work, and even though it doesn't pay any more than teaching, I sure get to take some very nice fishing trips- and someone else pays for it all! things do work out most of the time if we let it. good evening to all- Ed