There seems to be many valid ideas of what a 'soul mate' is. I now understand that I was blessed to have found mine, and to have had such close relationships with my sons. And yes @Joe Riley, I have always been full of questions, that's why I went to college for 19 years, and never applied for a degree. I was told my first word was "WHY". Hence my avatar name. I was born Ina Irene Ma.... , but my grandmother said I should be called Ina I. Wonder. I'm not too sure if we just find our soul mates, or if they are built as we work for and toward each other. I see so many young people that think it is something that just comes with all the ease and sparkle of Hollywood. Then again, I see people that try and try, yet many never find that soul mate whether spouse or friend. I also noticed that whether or not a person is emotionally damaged doesn't really matter either. Beauty really does seem to be in the eye of the beholder, because looks do not guaranty a person will find that one true mate either. I've seen that religion can help many in seeking and finding a soul mate, but even good strong believers have no assurances in finding and keeping a soul mate. I wonder if young people see discord as a sign that they haven't found their soul mate, instead of understanding that it's just the way two souls grow together. I wonder?????? .
@Ina I. Wonder Many young people only want the good times, when the bad times come as they will with every couple...many young couples just throw their relationship away and look for another one instead of working on the one they have. Just like young people throw away things and move on the newer version as soon as it comes out. It did not used to be this way, but for the most part it is that way now. Sometimes soul mate means to them someone who will always do things their way and and always give them everything they want without them having to give anything in return. Life just doesn't work that way. I love the story about your name and that you never stop wondering. I'm very much that way too...my inquiring mind just won't let me stop searching for the answers to my questions. I think that is a very good trait to have.
What I think is that your original definition, @Ina I. Wonder is the correct one. For some reason, people have started interchanging "soulmate" and "kindred spirit" and I think they are very different. Kindred spirit could be either gender, but your soulmate would be the opposite gender as you described. I believe we can have numerous kindred spirits but only one soulmate. If we find them, we know it. If we mess up and think we found them but turn out to be wrong... well, it's complicated. Uh, except everything has gotten so fouled up with the ludicrous gender mix-ups and...... uh... don't go there, Mari! Do. Not. Go. There. Mari!
@Mari North I think you are absolutely right in this Mari. Definitions are changing all the time it seems but kindred spirit is definitely what I would say my best friend and my sister share with me. My husband is both my soul mate and a kindred spirit to me.