My wife had a close female friend for a few years she met in Square Dancing. Unfortunately, this friend was single and seeing a married guy, something my wife definitely doesn't believe in, but stayed being friends with her. A large part of that "friendship" disappeared after my wife met me. Her friend told me, "you know you have to share her with me" and I said "nope, that isn't going to happen" and my wife totally agreed. Actually, my wife had very little-to-nothing to do with this friend after meeting me. My wife wanted to be with me all of the time and I really liked that. This friend had absolutely no interest in rodeo and my wife loved it. However, her friend was invited to our wedding/reception. Once we left So. California, the friendship basically ended, except for a phone call once in a while. During the last phone call we had with her, 5+ years ago, her friend and I were talking and she told me "as far as farmers and ranchers go, they can all be buried and I wouldn't care." After that statement, that was the total end of the friendship and it didn't bother either of us.
@Joy Martin - so who will end the friendship ? Why is that even necessary? Maybe just a more prolonged distance between you both would be better than ending a long term friendship. You sound more envious than jealous, and for you that is affecting the relationship. As I have stated before, my BFF of 50 years is different from me and has more money than me, and her relatives are very rich. This has very little to do with our friendship so far. Joy, it would be great if the two of you could salvage something out of this long time friendship. P. S. the one thing IMO people should never do is borrow, or expect money or gifts from friends.
I don't expect ,money from friends, but if I had abundance and a friend who struggles, I'd certainloy offer. A friend back East who lives very simply and meagerly sent me 2 $100 checks over a few years and this was her way of thanking me on giving her health advice stuff for 2 issues. I was shocked And thanked her as she meant business on these money gifts..... The friendship I'm talking about has had many ups and downs and I brushed them away and now I'm thinking on the friendship....She's been snippy and mostly about the covid thoughts and beliefs we have and don't have.... I sent her an email 3=4 days ago and no reply....not the person I have known.
Since she comes from money and privlege and I do not, what covid has done to millions is cause loss of money, businesses, etc.... and you know that Von Jones..... She doesn't come across with any synpathy for those truly struggling....that's what kinda bothers me I guess....
@Hedi Mitchell, actually money can, and many times does, make or break a friendship. The other friend my wife had, since Jr. High, ended up marrying a very financially fit guy. Then again, he got a rather large inheritance from his parents, so along with his Ford Motor Company Engineering salary, they were doing extremely well. She was basically a homemaker and only worked a very short time from home. After she married, she always wore very "ritzy" looking clothes. He was able to afford becoming a "Snowbird" with a home in Michigan and Florida as well as a lake cottage in Michigan. IOW, very nice of most everything! After she married, her and my wife weren't nearly as close as they were thru Jr. High and High School. After she passed away a few years ago, from Lupis/serious arthritis, not seeing a doctor or getting any meds for it, her husband wouldn't have much to do with us. We think that all he knows is very upper-class folks, like he still is and we definitely aren't.
Indeed I do know what affects covid has and continues to have around the world no doubt about that. So now you're seeing another side of her that has probably always been there and it bothers you to see it. That's what I call disappointing.
Von: I've been one who bled for others and don't anymore, but have a lot of compassion and have put my feet in other's shoes. Many don't do that, they don't step out of their own shoes...
So, you wish your friend to become a sugar friendie? If you did indeed put yourself in your friend’s shoes, you might realize that offering you ( a very proud woman) a loan or a gift of money, she might feel like the gesture would be like a slap in the face to you. She probably feels that if you needed help, you’d ask for it. Personally, I’ll take the Biblical stance that a borrower becomes the slave of the lender. Even if the money were indeed a gift, the relationship would still change and you’d always feel like your “friend” had the upper hand over you.
Everyone has more than someone and everyone has less than someone. Not sure money should come between friends. I give when I 'feel' it but refuse to feel pressured into it. mostly I'd take someone to lunch. Giving money to certain friends causes more stress.
Like my wife's younger brother, I don't get along that well with my wife's older sister. However, when she comes here to see us during the rodeo, we both decided to pay for her buffet breakfast at the MGM as a birthday gift for her.
I think relationship or become single. My friend since 10 got with this man and about 10 years she just quit answering phone. So of course, after a couple calls, I stopped calling. I hear about her thru our daughters, just know she is still alive mostly. I had a friend tell me exactly the same thing. I miss him, he was like a brother to me since 12 ,a great man, neither his nor my spouse Jake minded, jake liked shooting pool with him, all knew it was total friendship,