@Holly Saunders Assuming that was a first marriage for you, the unfortunate circumstances present in it added to those you experienced in your youth. Somehow you maintained your strength and presence of mind. Not sure I could.... Frank
Yes it was my first marriage, and yes how very perceptive of you Frank, my life life from the time I was born was not a place anyone would wish to swap me for, that for sure!! I didn't buckle tho'..I ranted at God, I ranted at the world in general. I never used any props, no alcohol, no drugs, .. prescription or otherwise, no therapy and somehow even tho' at times I felt I could take no more, the good lord or some higher purpose gave me the mental strength to survive it.!! Not to say there are no scars to this day...there surely is, but at least I'm here despite it all...
I was single until I was 48 years old and have not encountered anything that would have led me to consider leaving my wife. Thinking theoretically, I suppose trust issues could lead to such a thing. Keeping in mind that (other than myself) no one is perfect, I suppose we should expect issues to come up from time to time, where there has been something less than complete honesty, but betrayal in things that matter could reasonably lead to the end of a relationship. Without trust, can there really be a relationship worth saving? In relationships outside of marriage, including friendships, when I have found that someone has lied to be about something that was my business, I have had no problem simply ending the relationship. Hopefully, more has been invested in a marriage, so I suppose the amount of deceit that might be acceptable would vary from person to person. I have trouble imagining how or why a relationship would survive outright betrayal, such as someone having an affair outside of their marriage or physical abuse. By that, I don't mean to discount the harm of emotional abuse. It's just harder to define. What might be playful teasing to one person might be abuse to another, so I think the intent would have to play into it, but that can sometimes be impossible to determine. Otherwise, I suppose that longterm behavior that disgusts me might lead to a cessation of a relationship, as putting up with it would feel like abuse to me.