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What's Going On With Depression? Are You Depressed?

Discussion in 'Health & Wellness' started by Lon Tanner, Apr 23, 2019.

  1. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    Besides my Model Railroading and Astronomy hobbies, I go to my Senior Citizens Club every Thursday morning and play Piano in our Jam Session combo, consisting of Drums, Bass, Guitar, and myself on the "88"! I have a list of about 200 songs that were popular from the Ragtime era until modern times! I call out the tune, play the Intro, then away we go!

    Hal
     

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    #61
  2. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    I just read through this thread. I am saddened at some of the responses. I would think a seniors forum where many profess to be followers of Christ, such a post would find compassion. I have been single most of my life and lived alone. I have always had so many hobbies and interest that loneliness was never an issue.

    After cancer surgery it seems I have lost the desire to do most of my hobbies. I find sometimes a feeling of being alone starts so I go visit the cancer center and bring cheer and hope to those going through a hard time. I forget about being alone. Yes, it was my choice to not have an intimate relationship anymore, but it was not my choice to lose my baby and have no blood heir.

    So @Lon Tanner I understand and will give you no advice. Just know I care and make no judgement why you feel lonely. If I lived closer I would visit you for lunch weekly, well that is if you paid, promised no mortician talk, and the food was denture friendly.
     
    #62
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2019
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  3. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    I don't see that at all. I just see people answering the question posed in the OP: Fighting loneliness, how do you handle it? Not everyone here is alone, and not everyone minds being alone, so there is just the normal amount of playfulness, maybe a couple of gotchas, but mostly, I see people answering the question. Other than the fact that forums, in themselves, can help to deal with loneliness or boredom, there isn't much that anyone can do other than to relate their own experiences, and I see a good variety of experiences and ideas here. We're not therapists and I don't think anyone is in need of or asking for that sort of help here.

    Perhaps if I had married young and was now alone, I could more easily relate to loneliness, but I have been married only once, was 48 before I married, and my wife is still with me. I left my parent's home before I was eighteen and lived alone for much of my life, with the notable exception of raising a son for thirteen years, and a few times when I shared a house or apartment with someone.

    While I love being married, I also enjoy being alone. My wife spends most of her time upstairs and I spend most of my day downstairs, largely because we have different tastes in television. Being alone has never bothered me, as there are more things to do than I have time for. In my adult life, I have held as many as four jobs at the same time, I have served in various capacities with churches that I have been involved with, including being a youth minister and a boy scout leader. But I did these things, not to fight loneliness, but because they were the right thing to do and I enjoyed doing them. Lock me up in a 5x10 room and as long as I have books and/or a computer, I won't be lonely.
     
    #63
  4. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Supreme Member
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    Faye can you explain why you lost the desire for your previous hobbies ? what happened ?
     
    #64
  5. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    I have no idea Holly! I really don't! I still practice guitar some but it is always old flamenco I learned from the Gitano, which very few if any care about these days. My point is that when dealing with the elderly that are lonely, they don't seek advice or what they can do to stop it, they just want someone taking the time to care and maybe just visit with them whether online or in person. Someone to listen to their stories. even if they have heard them several times. It is something I learned from my mother with her endless, unjudgemental, compasion for the elderly. How can I expect anyone to give me their TIME and listening ear when I reach the age considered elderly, if I don't offer it to those elderly experiencing lonlyiness myself?
     
    #65
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  6. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    Well answering the question, "How do you fight Loneliness," wasn't an open door for the judgement of, "you are lonely because of your bad decisions." There is a big difference in telling someone how you deal with your loneliness and telling them why they have loneliness or what they can do for loneliness. Tell your story of how you deal with loneliness and let Lon decide what he might use.
     
    #66
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  7. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Supreme Member
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    I love controversy.
     
    #67
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  8. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Veteran Member
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    #68
  9. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    Here's my summary: Excellent cure for insomnia.
     
    #69
  10. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Veteran Member
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    It must take a lot of effort to continually be no help at all. LOL
     
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  11. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Veteran Member
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    from the article:

    An Epidemic of Loneliness
    There is no sugarcoating the experience of aging, in our day or any other. For instance, in a sermon on the “infirmities and comforts of old age,” first published in 1805, the seventy-five-year-old pastor of a Congregationalist church in Massachusetts provides a sober description of old age as “a time when strength faileth.” As we age, he observes, we experience a decay of our bodily strength: “Our customary labor becomes wearisome… pains invade our frame…our sleep, often interrupted, refreshes us less than heretofore… our food is less gustful…our sight is bedimmed, and our ears dull of hearing.” Along with this decline, the pastor notes, we often experience a gradual loss of companions and social visits and an increase in isolation. Moreover, to our disadvantage, “we contrast our present with our former condition” of active powers, and “not only the remembrance of what is past, but the forethought of what is to come, aggravates the calamity of the aged man.”18
     
    #71
  12. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    I don't detect any earth-shattering revelations there; most of us are well aware of our decline.

    I do feel pretty drowsy, though. :D
     
    #72
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  13. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Veteran Member
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    I'm having another night of complete sleeplessness. I'll be up until dawn. I wish I could get drowsy.
     
    #73
  14. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
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    One way to beat loneliness is to volunteer
    Another, is to take up a hobby, something you haven't tried before like - matchstick sculptures !
    Saw some fantastic examples of this and then looked on Amazon and there are kits on there of different objects
    you could make - just sayin' ........
     
    #74
  15. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    Do what your Forum Friends suggest, Lon.
     
    #75

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