When A Suggestion Isn't Taken Very Well

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Cody Fousnaugh, Jan 2, 2023.

  1. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Hedi, I don’t have to personally ask you, we already know you agree with us!
     
    #16
  2. Jeff Elohim

    Jeff Elohim Very Well-Known Member
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    What about the at least occassional tips on better health ?
    So far, indeed, with a faulty memory of past posts admitted, I've only seen , or mostly seen, rejection of good health practices and adoption freely of very unhealthy things.
     
    #17
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  3. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Not everyone wants to be real healthy! There are those that simply don’t like a number of healthy foods or much exercise. There are also those that simply can’t exercise that much due to previous surgeries (like myself). And, outdoor exercise can also be dictated on where a person lives. Ever tried taking a nice walk in 22 degree weather? That’s where we currently live!
     
    #18
  4. Krystal Shay

    Krystal Shay Very Well-Known Member
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    I read no where that your sister-in-law asked for your suggestion on how to wear her hair. You just gave it to her. She can wear her hair anyway she wants. She's not there for your viewing pleasure. I can't believe you are married! :eek:
     
    #19
  5. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    When A Suggestion Isn't Taken Very Well Ahem ahem!!

    If one tells me that they like my hair long, that is a compliment. If another says I like it short, then that is a compliment. If one says I sure like it better long than short, then that is their opinion and best kept to themselves since is an unwanted judgment.

    If I asked, how do you like my hair, long or short, then I am inviting their opinion and judgment.

    Unsolicited praise followed by a judgment isn't praise at all but in fact just an unnecessary judgment and negative energy that never leads to anything good.

    You see, when praise is followed by ifs and buts, then it isn't candy or nuts and never leads to a happy new year.

     
    #20
  6. Reen Davis

    Reen Davis Well-Known Member
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    Well after reading what is already in this thread , I know not to offer any suggestions .

    For myself though, if I felt that I never got any 'good' suggestions from anyone, I would just not bother
    asking anymore rather than be rude about it to all those who at least took the time to try.
     
    #21
  7. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Well, members, a "suggestion" is just that...........a suggestion. Not a demand or insult, just a simple "this is what I/we think". Can a person help it if their suggestion sounds more like a demand to someone else??

    And, again (just how many times do I have to repeat this).........all the SIL would've had to say is "thanks for the suggestion, but I like wearing my hair both up and down". Then, there wouldn't been any problems. But, no, she had to create a problem towards us.

    Talked to her brother this morning and he told me (again) "Just leave her alone! She's not worth your aggregation of what she said. She is my sister and I leave her alone, because I know what she is like. If she calls, either have my sister speak to her or put your phone on vibrate. Believe me, I and my sister, know her and how she can be."

    Also, this thread wasn't done to get suggestions for wife and I, it was done to see how you would handle giving a suggestion to a friend/relative and them popping back at you, like my SIL done to us. Again, not about us!
     
    #22
  8. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Here is a suggestion I done one time, way before meeting my wife. It bit me, but I bit back.

    Was at a country-western nightclub and asked this lady to dance (2-step). She was extremely stiff, with about "zero" for rhythm. I knew 100% how to do a 2-step and had rhythm. I suggested to her that she take a dance class (with a smile) and went back to my seat. A few minutes later, her girlfriend approached me and said "how dare you tell (suggest) to my girlfriend that she needs to take dance lessons." I looked at her and said "well, you can see how stiff she is on the floor, with very little rhythm, so, I'd think you'd be a good enough friend to say something to her, but a stranger had to do that." She said "ok" (snotty like). I left after that.
     
    #23
  9. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    WOW, you could be her sister! Very, very independent and, perhaps, don't like suggestions told to you? Another thing, many people don't ask for a suggestion, because they don't want to hear what the suggestion is.

    Anyway, my wife loves me very much, been together 23 years and we both ask each other for different suggestions/recommendations, all of the time. Yesterday morning, as we were getting ready to go out for breakfast and she showed me two different tops she thought about wearing. I told her that the one top was more of a "breakfast" top, whereas the other one was more for going out to dinner (western top). She like my suggestion and took it. I've had a shirt on that she didn't think went with the occasion we were going to and told me. I changed the shirt, liked the suggestion, and said "thanks, Honey".

    And, one other thing, watch, on Ken's forum, putting down somebodies marriage. Definitely not a good idea.
     
    #24
  10. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    Important point: You asked her to dance. That is different from her asking you. You are lucky you didn't get a knee to the crotch.
     
    #25
  11. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    And, let me add this to what happened: We had just left grocery store and she called on my cell phone. I said to her "sorry, we can't talk right now" and she said "that's rude". I told her later that it was sleeting and that's why we couldn't talk right then.
     
    #26
  12. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    And, if you did that, you'd probably be laid-out cold and the dude would go to jail, proudly. How's that for a "comeback"? LOL:p
     
    #27
  13. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Now that Faye and I have got the insults down solid, let's continue. :):D
     
    #28
  14. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    What insults? I just simply stated what many ranch women might do if they were asked to two step and the guy told them they should take lessons. Rudeness, arrogance, and judgemental attitudes don't sit well with real ranch women, but of course, real ranch women don't go to urban cowboy nightclubs.

    If a guy raised his hand to hit me, he would have a broken arm to add to his ER resume! :D
     
    #29
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  15. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Well, to a point, you are wrong! When I was in Billings, Montana (years ago), I talked to a lady who worked on a local cattle ranch outside of Billings and she was in a Billings nightclub. And, she was a real ranch woman!

    And, on top of that, Faye, you don't know every real ranch woman in America. So there! :D
     
    #30

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