I'd rather be trusted than liked. I've known abrasive/cold people in my life, and when others whine about such people, I tell them that there is no doubt where those people stand, and there is minimal concern that they are being false-friendly to use you (think of politicians.) I recently had a friend (Linda) call me for a ride to a doctor's appointment when her ride from Susan fell through. Without really thinking, Susan told her to "Call John. He's never doing anything." Linda was offended on my behalf. I just laughed. Susan is blunt. I trust Susan. And because of that I like her, too.
I don't give much thought to whether someone likes me or not. I will try to treat people fairly, honestly and with the golden rule in mind, if not total practice. If someone doesn't like me, it's their issue, not mine.
I always consider what might be going on with them, for them to act so strangely towards me, and feel it's the right way to approach the situation. yet still it always seems to be a surprise, when you find out why.
I'm guilty of overthinking things myself, at times but I think it comes naturally, to some of us, and we can not help it.
some people just have pre conceived notions...or make a determination based on..??... anyway...i always got blamed for things by certain family members..who never knew the whole story...so...i never bother to change their notions..too much...just too too much...ha!
Families can be a hand full, for sure. Ours was 9 counting Mom and Dad and there was always some kind of something going on.
Actually, I get along much, much better with my BIL (wife's brother) than I do my own 1/2 brother. The BIL is 2 years younger than me, while my 1/2 brother is about 5 years older than me. The 1/2 brother is a very serious person and doesn't understand, or even like, me joking around with him, whereas the BIL loves it when I joke around with him.
Some people get offended easily, and others can take a joke as it was meant without being offended by it. I joke around a lot and find that it does, offend some who have no sense of humor at all, or just don't like me.
That's a good way to look at it and to be, and as for me I still sometimes overthink it, as I mentioned earlier in a post, when I'm not sure, what they have a problem with.